Flower Etiquette

Flowers are great gifts for practically any occasion, but there are some basic rules of flower etiquette.  This is a small list I compiled to help you know how to send what you are trying to say.

Red Roses: Red roses are always a great gift for
for practically any occasion or for no occasion at all. Indeed the power of “I love you” behind long stemmed red roses given to a significant other is a winner for any occasion, and is especially powerful when given for no occasion at all. The red rose signifies “romantic love”, so it may be a bit much in some cases. However, most will find that red roses are a consistent winner.  I always suggest to match the quantity to the relationship.  Send to many roses after a first date and you might scare them away. 

Yellow Roses: Yellow roses are the flower of friendship. They are a perfect gift for a co-worker or sibling. However, they might be too timid to express romantic interest. They do not express the romanticism of the red rose.  If you are ordering from another state, it is always appropriate to send "The Yellow Rose of Texas" for any occasion.

Pink Roses: Pink roses are the flowers of secret love. They are a perfect medium between the friendship of a yellow rose, and the romantic love of the red rose. They express a secret love, and should not be mistaken purely as a friendship gift like the yellow rose.

White Roses: White roses are the flowers of innocent love. They are ideal for family members and family occasions, even funerals.  Recently all white rose arrangements have become very popular.  They look absolutely stunning with eucalyptus and fern.

Carnations: Carnations are the flower of fascination. They are an ideal flower to give to a romantic interest that has not yet blossomed into a relationship.  Carnations are also one of the most fragrant flowers a florist has.  The color variety is wonderful.  Also, a carnation will stay beautiful a very long time.  For a cute, yet inexpensive arrangement carnations with daisies is the way to go.

Orchids: Orchids are the flowers of love and beauty. They can be given for practically any occasion to practically anybody. Orchids are universally appealing flowers that do not carry significant meaning for most occasions.

Daisy: Daisies are the flowers of loyal love. They are a perfect flower to give to a mother on Mother’s Day, or for any occasion.  Daisies come in a variety of colors and with fresh water and proper room temperature, will last a long time.

Lily: The Lily is the flower of purity and sweetness. It is an ideal flower to give to a niece or daughter.  Usually on one stem of a Lilly there are multiple blooms.  So when you are at the florist you can tell how fresh the Lilly is by how many blooms are open.  With proper care a stem can last quite a few days as the blooms continue to open.

Chrysanthemum: The Chrysanthemum is a flower of friendship, so it will go well on any occasion, but may not be ideal for expressing romantic interest.

Flowers are great gifts, and it is difficult to do too much wrong when getting flowers for anybody. But if you follow the etiquette noted above, you will be able to express yourself better with flowers.

Sympathy Etiquette

How do I know what is appropriate when ordering flowers for a funeral?

Sympathy tributes vary region to region, so it is best to ask your florist what he or she recommends. Sometimes a florist will know what the family has ordered or what other tributes are being sent, and can create something for you that will be a nice complement to the other flowers. The florist should also be familiar with any restrictions the funeral home or cemetery might have. Some funeral homes are very strict on the size of the arrangement and more specifically what kind of container it can be in.

I have seen a lot of different styles of floral arrangements at funeral services lately. What is best? How do I order a “special” design?

Highly personalized sympathy tributes that depict an aspect of a person’s essence are a growing trend. If the deceased was a man who loved the outdoors, perhaps a tribute incorporating branches and natural materials would be ideal. If the deceased was an avid gardener, a tribute with a collection of garden flowers may be a perfect choice. Be prepared to give the florist a few hints about the person you want to memorialize. If you prefer to send a design that is more a reflection of your style, be sure to communicate that to the florist. Most flower shops will have photos of traditional sympathy styles for you to peruse.  On my website I try to incorporate some of my own photos of items we have made.  Most florists now carry a wide array of things that can be incorporated into an arrangement.  Items such as, crosses, angels, tapestry, hunting and fishing, sports and numerous other ideas.

Is it okay to send flowers to the family’s home? If so, when is it appropriate to send them?

Absolutely. This is a wonderful way to express your sympathy and is a common trend. Some people choose to send flowers to the home immediately while others prefer to wait a week or more. There are no rules. Flowers can be a very comforting reminder during the grieving process that friends haven’t forgotten.  It is appropriate any time to send items to the home.  This is usually done if you are a close intimate friend of the family.

Is it still appropriate to send flowers if the death notice mentions a charitable donation?

Yes. Because flowers help say what is often difficult to express, they are always appropriate and in good taste. Flowers also play a functional role, adding warmth to the service and providing the visible emotional support that the family needs during this time.

Is it acceptable to send roses or flowers in a glass vase to the funeral home?

From an etiquette standpoint this is perfectly acceptable; however, some funeral homes have rules about certain types of arrangements. Your florist will be familiar with what each funeral home allows.  In Tyler, we do not deliver glass vases to the funeral home.

If several of us want to go in together for funeral flowers, how do we sign our names so the family knows how to thank us?

When groups go in together on flowers, the arrangements can be very special and make a larger showing. There should be room on the floral enclosure card for several names, but if there’s not enough space it is best to sign as a group, such as “The Girls in Accounting” or “The Smith Family.” Include a contact name and address on the card so the family knows who to thank.  We have recently started asking for the acknowledgement address to put on the card.  This makes it so much easier for the family.

Where did the tradition of sending funeral flowers come from?

Flowers have always played an important role in burial traditions because of their soothing qualities. In ancient cultures, floral and herb essences were used to anoint the bodies of the deceased and aromatic flowers and greens were displayed.

Is it appropriate to send a plant to the funeral home? If so, will the funeral home send it to the family after the service?

Yes, it is appropriate to send a green or flowering plant. Some funeral homes will deliver plants or flowers to the home if specified. In some cases, the florist may make arrangements to pick up the plant after the services and deliver it to the family. Otherwise, the funeral director will simply notify the family members that they may take the plants with them after the service. Check with your florist to see what is customary for your area.

If I want to place a tribute in or on the casket, what should I do?

This tradition is usually reserved for family members or special loved ones. Ask the family before ordering anything for the casket. Your florist can offer suggestions for other special tributes.

What is appropriate to send for a cremation?

A tastefully designed floral tribute adds beauty to any type of memorial service. It is common for the family to have an arrangement designed for display with the urn. Because cremation is quite common in an increasing number of regions, many florists will have specific suggestions.